Did you know what I was thinking when you said that?
Did you see the worry in my eyes?
That one glimmer in their depths.
That tear threatening. That fear niggling.
One word, one throw-away joke from your lips
One breath sending a message to my ears
The meaning you did not intend
The spark bringing unwanted insecurities.
(30th Oct 09)
Suspended between the push and the pull.
Drawn in with a smile,
arms held out to fend.
No room to manoeuvre between.
Animation slowly dissolves
leaving behind the skin.
A shadow of before.
Noticed?
(15th Oct 09)
I ache for you.
I long
to hear your voice,
See that smile,
one last time.
One last conversation,
One more hug,
A moment of appreciation.
A memory
to cherish above all others.
Knowing
15th Oct 09
At the root I stand
Looking up.
Vines cover the wall
Leading forwards, sideways.
Pathways laid out to choose from.
Take or abandon forever?
A decision at every step
I take…
I dreamt a dream last night… (13th Aug 09)
I dreamt a dream last night.
I saw you standing on a beach, empty and alone.
You had a cigarette in your hand and as you drew in a long breath, you gazed over the moonlit waters to a boat in the distance. I couldn’t tell if it was moving towards or away from the beach but as you started to stroll by the water’s edge it seemed to move with you, stopping when you did, changing direction to match yours. Attached to you in some unknown way.
I moved forward towards you, away from the alcove that had hidden me ‘til now. As I came closer you noticed the movement and turned your head to me, looking at me for a moment before a slow soft smile spread across your lips. You reached a hand to me, and I came, hesitantly allowing you to draw me in to the shelter of your body. I looked up at you, eyes open and searching, hiding nothing as you gazed in to them. Slowly, you lowered your head, lips meeting in a soft caress.
My lids fluttered open and I matched your smile, leaning in to the hand resting against my cheek, sighing happily. After a moment trapped in each other’s gaze, you tucked me under your arm and we began to walk together along the shore, cuddled up, leaning against each other as we moved in content companionable silence. Feeling you eyes on me, I glanced at you, smiling shyly to myself before turning to meet your eyes. As I turned I noticed the boat, moving again.
Still attached? Or had its course changed? I couldn’t tell, didn’t want to ask.
I awoke troubled, yet, I hoped.
8th june 09 – 2 unnamed pieces
Ripped, jagged edge
Smoothed over with time
Soft and safe to the eye.
Run a finger over
Feel the splinters hidden from view
Brushed against now and then
Cutting lightly,
A reminder they exist.
Sometimes fallen upon heavily.
Cutting deeper,
Giving a taste of that first hurt.
The hand reaching and tearing that piece away
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A moment outside of time
The hidden waterfall by the highway
The world, its problems, melt away
A surrounding blur.
Close enough to touch,
But apart. Other.
Fingertips almost brushing it.
Only a hairs breadth away..
The bubble secludes.
A smiling moment of calm
Within the storm of the city
I knew him
I knew her for what he was
And yet I let myself be taken in
By him. By her.
Uncertain trust given
Against warnings
Against my own findings
Uncertain trust given
Warnings come true
Findings repeated
Her actions confuse me
His actions make no sense
We had forever a moment ago
A dream? A lie?
True then, false now?
Or always a play I never knew existed?
waiting for the dream to pass
for reality to start again
fear and disbelief lead
moment by moment
troubling seconds pass
joined in lack
calm turbulance fills the air
~~~~~~~~~~
disassociation
locked between bubbles
outside and within
attached beyond both
without ever knowing
how to reach
fingertips brush
seen and felt
behind the glass
conciousness and action
two separate entities
seemingly lack of feeling
oozing from every pore
not numbness, but constant being
outside the same as before.
every move a charade
to continue the facade
that the world is the same once more.
~~~~~~~
undeniable movements
change futures irriversably
power of fate set aside from out hands
or stand straight and tall
in the face of adversity?
which gesture defines which choice?
from whos veiw point do we judge?
representation of one
mirror image of the other
Divided within the whole
Two seemingly almost separate entities
Entwined within one self
Unable to survive alone, yet
Always half lived because of the other.
~~~~~~
Inconsequential moments joining to form
Inconsistant memories, showing
Something that could have been.
